ugh

In the pure tradition of being honest, I am disgusted with myself.

My pants are cutting off my circulation.

Ugh.

And I stepped on the scale this morning only to discover that I weigh more than I've weighed in a decade.

Say it with me.

Ugh.

Yes, I know, this doesn't define me.

Yes, I know my pants size doesn't determine my heart.

Yes, I know Jesus loves me.

But it's me who is not thrilled with who I am.

Being disappointed did not stop me this morning, actually it motivated me to get my act together.

I read the bible.  I was a little confused because I thought i was told that Noah was a drunk and God used Him anyway... however in Gen 3 it says that he was righteous... I need to figure that out because it's bugging me. Either way, I am thankful that God uses me inspite of me.  In spite of my mistakes.  In spite of my short-comings.

I packed my breakfast (hard boiled eggs). Logged my food for the morning including my snacks for the day.  Instead of a cake for my birthday, my friend brought me fruit :)  she knows me and loves me!!

I will do my exercises this evening.  100 crunches, 60 pushups (I did 50 yesterday), stretching, and walking a mile and thinking about doing my kettle ball DVD. 

And for the record, not that you asked, if I would have been able to pick between Bob and Dolvett... Dolvett all the way! 

Also going to make this Broke Bean Stew

Back on Track

I decided to join WW online.  I don't want to fool myself and even THINK I am going to make the meetings, I don't have the time.  But I love that I can track all my points, get encouragement, etc.

I've also started going back to the gym.  Day 2 was difficult. Don't you hate it when that happens?  You're all excited and motivated to get going and then day 2 you work a ton of hours, your stress level is higher, it's Christmas time after all, so there is LOTS to do... and for me it means 1/2 hour on the bike (I realize that is not much, but I am not released to do anything else and it's more than I was doing).  I didn't want to, but I had already written it down, so I needed to go :)

I have to say that was a long 1/2 hour.  I was tired, but I did it!  And this morning, I am better for it!  I have lots of energy as I start my day!  I won't bore you with what I've accomplished (I usually do) but it's probably more than some people do all day!

So here I go!  Day 3!  I will be at the gym today!  I will count my points!  And I will stay focused on Jesus!

Everyday I am a little closer to running a marathon!

Living life in 3D

I really admire Pastor Chilly who is the Pastor at Real Church in the D. He lets Jesus use him to bring Hope to Detroit.  He brings a real/relevant and usually 'whoa' message every week.  I can't think of a time when I didn't leave challenged by a message he has delivered (and his awesome wife Netta is an awesome friend to me!)  Pastor Chilly has a Real Life Plan. ** one thing (there are many!) I admire about Pastor Chilly is that he leads by example, and he admits when he is less than perfect!

I like to think of it as living life in 3D.

Diet
Devotional
Discipline

You can check out his Real Life Plan here.

It is such a great way to think about it! For some people losing weight may be a diet, a quick fix to lose weight, but to me, it’s about what you eat, the good and the bad (and sometimes the ugly!).

Merriam Webster says Diet can be defined as:

a : food and drink regularly provided or consumedb : habitual nourishmentc : the kind and amount of food prescribed for a person or animal for a special reasond : a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one's weight
2: something provided or experienced repeatedly

I wrote out my own Real Life Plan:
Diet:
Stay within my WW points (32 + 47 extra)
Drink 96 ounces of water (minimum) – that’s ¾ gallon
Eat 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies (must be 0 point per WW guidelines)
Eat whole grains instead of ‘white’ carbs
Don’t overstuff myself – hey… what’s wrong with leftovers?
Eat in-between meals – but it must be a fruit or a veggie + protein

I am not going to limit myself with “don’t’s” as long as it is within my points.

Devotion:
Read my bible everyday
– I am in a study with friends with daily reading of the Chronological Bible
– 5 chapters a week with ‘my girls’ – currently we are studying Ezekial
– Memorize one scripture a week
– Dieter’s Prayer Book Devotional
– Live Loved/My Utmost for His Highest Devotional
– Journal/Blog
– Live Phil 3:13-14 EVERYDAY!

Discipline:
100 sit-ups everyday
Get 6-7 hours of sleep a night
Run/Go to gym 4 days a week
Read a God honoring book a month
More reading

When asked to comment today, here were my answers:
Diet: some good days… some not so good, I weigh in today at Weight Watchers. so who knows but I have been working on getting my fruits and veggies in. (+1.4 this week :/)
Devotion: probably best it’s ever been. it’s kind of crazy for me because I kind of felt like the ‘world’ was trying to invade my space, so I took that space and filled it with God’s Word – daily reading of the Chronological bible, reading 5 chapters a week/note taking on the book of Ezekial with my 11th grade girls I lead, following the Real church bible reading plan, and reading the ‘Utmost’ daily devotional, plus one from a dieter’s prayer devotional… And just started Rob Bell’s ‘Love wins’ and going to start ‘the poor will be glad’. (yeah – I know kind of crazy but I cut back on the TV I was watching, realized it wasn’t worthy of my time!)
Discipline: Only ran once this week (but it’s only Tuesday), plan on getting in 3 miles at least once, and gonna shoot for 4 on Saturday.

Sometimes you get what you deserve...

Warning, this post may contain TMI for some... don't say I didn't warn you...

I didn't post my loss (or gain) on FB last week. i was disappointed that I had gained another pound. I must confess, I deserved it (and probably more to tell you the truth). i celebrated and kind of wallowed that week/weekend before the weigh in, so that's what happens...

This week, back on track. Went bike riding, running, went for a walk yesterday with one of my girls, we walked about 2.75 miles. Stayed within my points all week, still have quite a few of the 'extra' points left.

I'm back to planning my meals, which helps out IMMENSELY!

The problem is that my 'aunt flo' came to visit this week, and that can throw everything off! So I am not sure how I am going to do, I know that my own scale at home is moving in the right direction :)

So not sure what the scale will say, but this may be one of those weeks when I just have to say 'the scale doesn't define me' because I know it's been full of good choices!

I will find victory!

I’m a little disappointed in +.8 this week. Of course, being that I had ALL my favorites at the grad party, it could have been so much worse.

I will find victory.

I will find victory in the fact that as stressed as I got at one point or another, I turned to Jesus, not food.

I will find victory in the fact that I ate 3 cookies, not 3 plate fulls.

I will find victory that in my favorites, there were healthy options for me and others!

I will find victory in ONLY +.8 when it could have easily been +8 (you know it’s true)

I will find victory in that I am an overcomer!

I will find victory that tomorrow is a new day!

I will find victory in that I’m still a loser (overall) and that makes me a winner!

as of late....

So I weighed in Tuesday, was thrilled, -2.2.  Total since back to WW, -15! 

Phyllis’s party is Satruday, and we have another party Sunday. Of all the things I am stressed out about… what the heck I’m going to eat on Saturday is top of the list! I want to have whatever I want, there’s a reason why I chose the food I did, I love it!!  And let’s just not forget that I could eat my weight (which is a lot) in homemade potato salad (I’m completely serious about this!). 

My next goal is –20.  I’m giving myself a month.  1 month, 5 lbs, seems reasonable.  Starting Sunday I will be running again.  I have put off my training long enough, I have to get in the game.  I have been so busy, but I need to make it a priority and I will be running 5 & 10K’s as some added ‘fun’.  Fun?  I know… not really.  So soon I’ll be checking for them.

So that’s it.  Stressed about eating…  yikes… 

I did download the free Craving God devotional onto my nook, it was free!  So I think that will also help, you can get it online too, delivered right to your emailbox.

Check out the website http://madetocrave.org/

This week's results!

So… I went to weight watchers yesterday… and I would have been happy with just breaking even. I know that late in the game (WW week) I ate things that were not the best choices, I wrote it all down


If you…

Bite it you write it
Drink it you ink it
Snack it you track it

Somehow I was -.4 which was good, I was happy! Sometimes a little grace goes your way. Sometimes you follow program to the ‘T’ and you don’t lose. The point is that this is a way of life, not a diet.

Our Pastor said before that success is doing the right things for long periods of time. Truth.

So this weekend will consist of working the garage and that will be some major calorie burnage. I’m hoping for a good week next week, I’d like to get to -10 soon! Right now -8.6 not too bad for my third weigh in (~1 month on the program).

Yesterday we ate at Johnny Carino’s… ate way too much bread and pasta, but it’s the meal after weight watchers so I pretty much eat whatever I want. It was YUMMY!

Today it’s back to program! Snacks packed, blueberries and bananas, and just figuring out what’s for lunch!

Grace.

I'm quite sure....

if I hated to eat, I’d be skinny LOL


What a weekend! I made lots of yummy food for a fundraiser dinner and then Sunday made tacos for lunch, and we had pizza and salad for dinner! Yum! I also made chocolate chip cookies for dessert to love on my family a little! I did write it all down, gotta figure out the points, but it’s written down!

I blew it, I expect to gain weight this week (weigh on Tuesday) but it is what it is. We move on or we move up (in weight) so today, I started with my usual 4 point breakfast and banana, had some blueberries for a snack and I will have a sensible dinner with veggies, no point in beating myself up about it. Some weeks are a little better than others, the cold rainy weather isn’t helping my running/exercise!

Planned my meals for the week, thankful that our mercies are new every morning!

Not defined!

Today is WW weigh in day. I don’t know how it happened that Tuesdays ended up my day, but I love the meeting lady, so I’ll stick with it, it does make me accountable over the weekend and makes me choose wisely. AND write all my points down.


I received the dining out companion and the big book of points plus AND it had the 3 month tracker, and I didn’t even know that was in there so I was super excited (doesn’t take much, huh?)

I did well this week, I watched everyday and did not have an ice cream on Sunday, even though I wanted it because I just didn’t have enough points. I plan a lot better and choose wisely. I don’t know how it happens some days and I know that even if I ‘fall off’ for one meal, it does not give me a pass to just go crazy.

I’m on a new medication for my PCOS and I don’t know if it’s working, apparently it takes 2 weeks to really get going in your system, and this is starting week 3. So we will see.

I believe that I cannot be measured by someone else’s ruler, and the scale does not define me. I did well this week, exercised, made good choices, and it doesn’t all come off in one week, and I had a great week this week.

So whatever the scale says, it doesn’t matter, I feel good this week putting healthy things in my body, not shoving my face into a vat of ice cream when my heart was breaking over missing my mom!

His grace is sufficient!

2 Cor 12:9 (NLT) Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Breakfast

You should always eat breakfast, that's what they say.  I agree, I'm hungry the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning.  Finding a low point breakfast that holds me over till 10AM snack time can be tricky, especially if you hate oatmeal and yogurt.  I'm happy to say I found one...

1 Whole Wheat English Muffin (Good health brand I think) 2 pts
3 egg whites cooked with spinach (1)
1 swiss laughing cow cheese (1)

This is yummy and quick and holds me over :) 

It took me some trial and error of how many points things are on the new system.

BTW... PB&J... 7 points, what the heck!
4 points for the bread (whole wheat)
2 points for PB
1 point for fruit spread...

But I do love me some PB&J!  LOVELOVELOVE!

Thanks to a run I got to eat an extra half of one yesterday!!  woooo hoooooo!!!!  Almost as good as ice cream (that's how much I love PB&J)