Weight Loss!!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Happy 'Face the Music Day'

So today's weight is official, I am up 2.6 from last Saturday!

You'd think I'd be in a bad mood, but really I'm not. I knew what to expect if I put junk in my mouth. Christmas Eve was bad!!

This morning I weighed in, and went to eat at my cousin's... what a breakfast we had!! YUMMMMM!!!

Then off to the mall with Corinne, Phyllis, Jhake, Becca, Malerie, & Jeff, we dropped them off and went to Ikea, and then to Twelve Oaks, crazy but fun!! I was going to get Sbarra but i knew it would be really bad...

Sbarro: Spinach/Tomato/Broccoli Stromboli Point 15
Zoup: Overstuffed bell pepper Points: 3
with Cali Veggie sand Points 7
Bread: Points 3

I saved two points but not just that, I KNOW it was a better choice, the food was so much better and healthier!

Today is Happy Face the Music Day

and tomorrow is

Happy Get back on track day!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Its all about God... His word never fails!

Make good choices!!

Matthew 7:13-14 13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Drink your water!!

John 4:13-14 13Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."


Phil 3:13-14 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Not gonna let it beat me!

I weighed in today... +1.6 so that means my over all is STILL -14.2

Lets see...

I went to lunch with Sarah Gunter, ate at Ruby Tuesdays... made bad choices.
Didn't drink all my water
Didn't take my vitamins
Had tons of bad choice foods at our Ninth Grade Girls Christmas Party
Didn't drink all my Stay Calm with magnesium

But today... even though it's a holiday, it's still a new day.

I made good choices at breakfast, drank water, changed what we are having for breakfast tomorrow... was going to be eggs and bacon, biscuits and gravy, now it's fruit (cantelope, grapes, blackberries, pineapple, bananas, frozen blueberries, apples), eggs with ham & veggie (onion, spinach, mushroom, green pepper) casserole, all of which we LOVE!!

I will not fail, I will succeed. With God, all things are possible!!

There is no need to beat myself up, in the last week, that is a lesson I am learning, don't beat yourself up because of the mistakes you've made, learn from them (wisdom!!) the world does enough of that beating me up, I'm not skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough... but in Christ, He is enough and because He is in me, and I am in Him, I am enough!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Going into the holidays...

Here we go... I made 14 different kinds of cookies, I didn't eat one. Its funny though, I've heard everyone that over ate and all their belly aches, that makes me want to continue to eat well.

I'm down .6, so a total of -15.8!! not too shabby!

This is my plan...

Weighing in on Christmas Eve and going to the meeting.
Going to the meeting on Saturday morning to stay on track if I do well or get back on track if I don't for Christmas.

Repeat performance for New Year's Eve and the Saturday following... since its my b-day I will enjoy it!

Monday, December 14, 2009


I’m still fat but I decided to buy myself some new clothes anyway.

I was looking in my closet and I hate my clothes, they are all stretched out, old, and for the longest time I said I wasn’t buying anything in ‘this’ size. I’m not down a whole size yet, but I’m not killing my clothes anymore either…

So I cleaned out my closet of the stuff that’s stretched out (mostly sweaters) and replaced it with one new cream sweater, one new red one, and a white shirt.

Even though I haven’t hit my second goal yet (20 lbs) that doesn’t mean I don’t want to look nice, so I decided that I would treat myself a little (I didn’t pay more than $12 for each of those items) and feel good about myself for Christmas.

I also added a picture from Friday, it’s only part of a picture but you can tell, I’m still hiding behind people, but I know I’ll get to a point where I won’t anymore.

And on a totally crazy note for me yesterday… I ate ice cream for dinner… which is bad, but I didn’t eat dinner (had a huge lunch!)… yeah, not good but not horrible either and I really wanted it!! It was so yummy!!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Apple Cinnamon Oat Bran Muffins

I made these muffins, yummy, good for you!!

1/2 c oat bran
1 c whole-wheat flour
1/4 c ground flaxseed
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1 egg, beaten
4 Tbsp canola oil
1/3 c applesauce
1 shredded apple
1/4 c sugar
1/4 c chopped pecans

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together bran, flour, flaxseed, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

3. In a separate bowl, whisk together egg and oil until smooth. Stir in applesauce, shredded apple, and sugar. Combine mixtures and fold in pecans.

4. Spoon batter into paper-lined muffin cups. Bake for 22 to 25 minutes or until tops spring back when lightly touched. Cool the apple muffins a wire rack.

Makes 12. Per muffin: 147 cal, 9 g fat (1 g sat), 163 mg sodium, 18 g carbs, 3 g fiber, 3 g protein


Today I lost another 1.6, making my total weight lost -15.2!! can I get whoo hooo!!!

I was thankful I made good choices yesterday (not saying I was good - because that means that I could be bad)!! I am thankful, this is great motivation for the holidays... wouldn't it be something if I could be down another 3 or 4 by my birthday.

I'd like to buy a size smaller pants so that when I go back to work, I can be like "hheeeyyyy" lol.

I've also realized that holiday craziness is making me crazy but there is no time for snacking at night!! I've got a bunch of Christmas shopping done, even bought myself a few things... you want to know something crazy? I wouldn't buy that much clothes at my old weight, but I've been buying things now and I'm still pretty much the same size, but my old stuff is all stretched out so I don't look good, and I want to look and feel good. Yesterday I wore a shirt I haven't worn in 2 years (wore it at my dad & stepmom's wedding). I felt kind of sassy in it... all sparklie!

anyway, that's it for now!! going to get some stuff done around here!!!


Friday, December 11, 2009

first holiday party - survived

We had our holiday luncheon at work, it was so nice! We had a ton of different food and most of it not good for you!

I did very well though, I had salad, and one piece of chicken and a small (very) piece of carrot cake!

I was even caught on film!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

That woman is a success

This is in my bathroom, I read it everyday. I want to remember that I'm a success...

That Woman is a Success . . .

who loves life
and lives it to the fullest;

who has discovered and shared
the strengths and talents
that are uniquely her own;

who puts her best into each task
and leaves each situation
better than she found it;

who seeks and finds
that which is beautiful
in all people and all things;

whose heart is full of love
and warm with compassion;

who has found joy in living
and peace within herself.

~ Barbara J. Burrow ~

Snack Time!!

I love Nature’s Sweet cherry tomatoes. They are a little pricey but SOOO yummy, and I decided that I can’t put a price on my health! If you buy the normal grape tomatoes they are often 2 for $4, but these are $2.99 for a bag. One of my favorite snacks is half a bag of them and a 1 pt string cheese!! I know that some people would rather have a cookie, but no thanks, that makes me feel yucky and mad at myself. The little cherry tomatoes BURST in my mouth with flavor, I don’t even need salt. YUM!!

And the cherub ones… heaven sent for surely!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

staying on track

It’s been a tough week, and it’s only Tuesday, I’m not struggling with eating well, I’m struggling with doing what I’m supposed to do… eat regularly (every 2 – 2 ½ hours), drink my water (160oz).

I think a lot of it is that I’m tired. I had a busy weekend taking care of everyone else’s needs and wants and forgot about me. Let’s just call a spade a spade, Ok?

It’s not that I’ve done horribly, I am following program, just got to follow it a little better. Keep things going, so tonight, I WILL take the time for me. I will stop at the fruit market and get what I need and meet the needs to my family (Phyllis) so that we will be healthy.

Friday, December 4, 2009


I am making food for a wonderful Pastor who is moving... I was going to make sloppy joes, but I decided on spaghetti (mostacolli) and rolls, fruit tray (it was half off at Kroger), and some veggies.

Getting that together tonight and I want to make these new recipes I got for muffins, I don't even eat muffins, except for that really bad for you one at Panera, cranberry orange... but these will be good for the Dorbands, Phyllis, and others!!

The last French toast casserole is coming out of the oven in 10 minutes, then it's off to drop off food at Night of Desperation at First Pres in Trenton. I made them some good stuff, oranges, veggies, and still chips and pretzels... Made Phyllis a little care package of rice cakes, pineapple, cantelope, ritz bitz with PB, and grapes!

So that's it... tired but happy!!


Today I stopped at Panera for my lunch because I was going in late. I am always trying to find healthier ways to eat. I opted for the smoked turkey breast, no mayo, no onions (because they’d be really stinky by the time I ate them), on whole grain (instead of country). I picked up 2 pouches of the low-fat mayo because I really love mayo, they are 10 calories each with .5g fat instead of 90 calories (per Tbsp – but I know they don’t measure and I am SURE it’s more than a TBSP of mayo on there!) with 10g fat. That’s ZERO points compared to (maybe) 3!! And I love their chips, so because of this swap, I could have the regular chips!! That’s a treat – I love chips!

This week I changed up my sandwich and saved myself some time…

On Tuesday night I scrambled 3 eggs and 3 egg whites (7 total pts) with 1 ginormous package of fresh spinach - steamed (0 points) I divided that by 3 (so that’s 2.33 points per day – I round down to 2). Had it on an Arnold bread (1 pt), fresh sliced tomato, 1 slice of ham (1), ½ oz of gouda cheese (1).

It was very yummy!!

I’ve had salad every day this week, with lots of healthy yummy good stuff in it! I stepped on the scale, down 3 pounds, but I only count it if I hit that for Saturday’s weigh in. So we will see.

I feel like I am doing well, making good choices, since I started the sticker reward, the only 3 days I didn’t get the sticker was Friday and Saturday and Sunday of this weekend. I’ve been doing it for about a month, so that’s good.

I’ve been working through a bunch of stuff with God, to be reminded this morning in my food journal – Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you

Thank You Jesus for being with me during this journey, thank You for being my strength to start on the way to be a better me so I can be a better me for You!! Your grace overwhelms me!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I only plan for success!

I went to a resturaunt in Southfield, so good! I looked at the menu and chose a Spinach Salad with Chicken.... can you say YUM!! You know what's crazy?! Guess how much dressing they gave me? 1 four oz cup and 1 2 oz cup... Are you kidding? when I said that I didn't need all that the guy looked at me like I had 3 heads (That's one of my favorite sayings). And I passed on the big butter ladened piece of bread (the size of 3 of my hands!).

I could have taken it all, and I might have even eaten the dressing (yes, i love salad with my dressing... lol) but I plan for success. Don't take it. I planned on being successful today, I plan on being successful when I hit that scale on Saturday and if the poundage isn't as I'd like, I know that I did what I could to affect it.

Yesterday I was in the hospital with my stepmom while my dad had surgery. I didn't plan well and didn't bring a lunch, and I HATE hospital food. However Oakwood Hospital's salad bar is FABULOUS!!! OH SO GOOD! Even made passing the pizza up, ok! Seriously!! It's also easy when my step mom is around because she is always cheering me on, she knows, first hand, how hard it is to lose weight, and she works at WW and cheers me on all the time, even when I don't do well!

I know that I'm just starting on this change of the way I eat and think, but a journey starts with a single step, and i think the closer to the finish line you get (I'm a long way from it) it can be either easier (because the end is in sight) or harder (because sometimes we can slack a little). But so far, I'm staying on track, I'd love to lose another 3 (at least) by Christmas but really 8 would be sweet but I think a little nutty to think I could attain!!!

Planning takes time and effort, and totally worth it!!

100 ways to cut calories

This not from me, but from Women's Health!!

  • Ways to Cut 100 Calories From Women’s Health Email

    At Breakfast
    • Ditch the Pop-Tart for a slice of high-fiber toast with strawberry jam.
    • Gotta have carbs? Split a bagel with a coworker.
    • Drink your two cups of joe black. Or order a single espresso instead of your usual latte.
    • Swap OJ for the real deal—one fresh orange.
    • Trade a side of regular sausage for turkey.
    • Top your waffles with Reddi-Whip instead of syrup (or use sugar-free).
    • Skip the whip on any Caribou Coffee 16-ounce drink.
    • Eat your granola from a 4-ounce mug, not an 8-ounce bowl.
    • Lose the Yoplait Thick & Creamy and have a Yoplait Fiber 1.
    • Order pancakes, but hold the butter.
    • Scramble together 4 egg whites instead of 2 whole eggs.

    At Lunch
    • Leave the Swiss cheese out of your sandwich.
    • Slather your bread with mustard rather than mayo and save 80 calories per tablespoon.
    • Pass up croutons at the salad bar.
    • Use up to 10 pumps of ranch dressing spray instead of pouring 2 tablespoons from a bottle.
    • Devour a slice of Pizza Hut cheese pan pizza instead of the meat lover's variety.
    • Take your iced tea unsweetened.
    • Reach for a Snapple raspberry white tea instead of a Snapple raspberry iced tea.
    • Stuff chicken salad into a whole-wheat pita instead of between slices of multigrain bread.
    • Make your burger turkey, not beef.
    • Slurp minestrone soup instead of cream of anything.
    • Go bunless—shed your hamburger roll.
    • Use south-of-the-border savvy: Have a quesadilla made with two 6-inch corn, not flour, tortillas.

    At Happy Hour
    Nurse a single glass of wine instead of downing 2 beers.
    • Ask for your rum and cokes in a highball glass. Bartenders pour an average of 20 percent less liquid into taller tumblers, so you'll swig less per round.
    • Drizzle extra hot sauce, not blue cheese or ranch dressing, on your wings.
    • Ordering a cocktail? Make it on the rocks instead of frozen. Slushy fruit drinks tend to be made with bottled mixers that contain added sugar and syrups.
    • Blending your own? Have a daiquiri, not a piña colada.
    • Pop the cap off of an MGD 64 instead of a bottle of Killian's Irish Red.
    • Sip a glass of water between drinks—pacing yourself can help you cut back by a glass or more.
    • Dip your nachos in salsa rather than guacamole.
    • For automatic portion control, sip wine from a Champagne flute, not an oversize goblet.

    On Your Snack Break
    Drink sparkling water instead of soda.
    • Move your stash of Hershey's Kisses at least 6 feet away from your desk—you'll dip in half as often.
    • Drain the heavy syrup from your can of fruit cocktail and then rinse the fruit with water before digging in.
    • Have 1/2 cup of fresh grapes instead of that little snack box of raisins.
    • Lay off the Lay's Classic potato chips and have a handful of Rold Gold pretzels.
    • Munch on a bag of Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Kettle Korn, not Movie Theater Butter.
    • Chase down the ice-cream truck for a Good Humor vanilla sandwich, not a King Cone.

    During Dessert
    Stop eating when you hit the crust. The edges and bottoms of baked goods are especially caloric because they absorb the butter used to grease the pan.
    • Fill your bowl with sorbet instead of ice cream—you can have an extra 1/2 cup of the former and still slash calories.
    • Next time a cocoa craving hits, ditch the dish of chocolate ice cream (about 3/4 cup) for a Fudgsicle.
    • Have sugar-free Jell-O instead of pudding. Better your nighttime treat jiggle than your thighs.
    • Go ahead and have that piece of birthday cake—just scrape off the chocolate frosting first.
    • Eat 5 meringue cookies instead of 2 chocolate chip ones.
    • Pass on the à la mode and savor that brownie au naturel.
    • Can the cone. Have your ice cream in a bowl.
    • Top your dessert with 1/2 cup of fresh berries instead of 2 tablespoons of chocolate syrup.

    In the Kitchen
    Substitute nonfat Greek yogurt for a serving of sour cream.
    • Use chicken broth (low-sodium is best) instead of oil to sauté meat and veggies.
    • Making homemade mac 'n cheese? Cut 2 tablespoons of butter from the recipe.
    • Replace the oil or butter in cakes with Sunsweet Lighter Bake prune-and-apple mixture or any brand of unsweetened applesauce.
    • Next time you make meatballs, meatloaf, or burgers, go half-and-half with ground beef and turkey.
    • When preparing packaged foods that call for butter or oil, like rice and stuffing, use a broth instead.
    • Swap low-fat cottage cheese for whole-milk ricotta when you make lasagna or stuffed shells.

    At the Drive thru
    Pass up a Wendy's baked potato with sour cream and chives and chow down on value fries instead.
    Amazing but true.
    • Have a McDonald's cheeseburger instead of a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
    • Downsize your drink: Trade a large fountain soda (with ice) for a medium.
    • Go for grill marks. Order a flame-broiled chicken sandwich rather than one that's breaded (and usually fried in oil).
    • Treat yourself to an ice-cream cone at McDonald's instead of Dairy Queen.
    • Crunch on one Taco Bell regular taco instead of a Ranchero Chicken Soft Taco. And all the hot sauce you want.
    • Slurp a cup of Panera Bread's low-fat chicken noodle soup instead of the cream of chicken with wild rice.
    • Make your daily pick-me-up at Starbucks a skinny vanilla latte, not a regular.

    When you’re not cooking
    Request the lemon chicken with white rice, not fried.
    • Skip the crunchy noodles with your bowl of wonton soup.
    • Ask for an order of Szechuan Shrimp instead of your usual General Tso's.
    • Choose the pasta with 1/2 cup of marinara instead of 1/2 cup of Alfredo sauce.
    • Indulge your inner carnivore with beef stroganoff, not meat lasagna.
    • Go with the baked potato (butter only), not the mashed, as your side of choice.
    • Dip your dinner roll in marinara sauce instead of olive oil.
    • Avoid anything breaded. Flour and bread crumbs not only add calories but also absorb more cooking oil.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

So Dumb!

For most of my life I feel like I'm a disappointment. Pregnant by a druggie, overweight for most of my life, it took me until I was 33 to get my bachelor's degree.

I want to be inspiring! Not for what I've done but for succeeding after never giving up!

Today is Thanksgiving! Halloween was easy because I could usually careless about eating candy, but this is the first holiday with my new outlook.

I started my day with my normal breakfast sandwich, Arnold bread, 1 egg+ eggwhite, cheese, ham, spinach, tomato. YUM! For lunch, chicken kabob, black bean salad, and asparagus, so much I couldn't finish, but it was only 6 points, so I have 19 points left for dinner. I've already decided what of my favorites I am going to eat, with a few 'spare' points just in case.

Today is no different from any other day, it's another day to succeed!

That's right... I am God's Masterpiece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Eph 2:10)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Food Choices

I have always been about ‘sneaking in a vegetable’. I’ve actually shredded zucchini and mixed it in the spaghetti sauce until it dissolved. I’ve added a package of spinach here and there, so I am not sure why it didn’t occur to me to put a tomato on my breakfast sandwich until I read an article in Women’s Health magazine about breakfast and some yummy things you could eat at breakfast. Today, I even added a handful of spinach!

I’m not about fake food, I hate fat free anything, I can taste the chemicals or food with fake sugar! GROSS!!

That being said, I will substitute apple sauce for oil or try to cook with a little less oil or butter, make cupcakes with punkin instead of eggs and oil. Whole wheat instead of white flour, I do what I can, where I can.

My sandwich today… tre manifique! It’s all about small choices. It’s like saving a dollar everyday, it doesn’t seem like much but at the end of the year it’s an extra $365!

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” ~ William Jennings Bryan

Monday, November 23, 2009

Change your way of thinking and you'll change your life!

My mind is a dark and scary place. But would you like to know where my ‘head’ is at?

I am only 2 pounds less than my lightest weight this year.

I am 10 pounds more than I weighed close to about 2 years ago.

That really doesn’t sound all that great does it…


But somehow I feel so good! It’s not just about the losing weight, however, that is quite a bonus! Its about no more garbage in/garbage out. It’s about reducing my chances of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and fillintheblank disease Deut 5:17.

Its about being confident in my choices for me, and my family.

Its about knowing that I am a conqueror Romans 8:37! That food is a necessity but being fat is not. Its about leaning on the Lord, about finding comfort in Him, about finding out who I am, and what I really like. (Did you know I really don’t know if I like a lot of things because I’ve been too afraid to try). It’s about setting goals and surpassing them! It’s about making hard choices (like the fact that I am bringing healthy food with me to Thanksgiving, and truly hoping I won’t offend anyone).

It’s about slowing down and shutting up Psalm 46:10

It’s about knowing that I may have tried this a million times, but this time I not only say I am going to succeed, but that I will because I BELIEVE IN ME! (and when I forget that I believe in me, I always BELIEVE GOD John 6:69! And He says I am wonderfully made – and so much more! Psalm 139:14)

It means that I do believe that in Christ, I am a new creation 2 Cor 5:17, and all those times I’ve failed, they are cast on the ocean floor, and some gross sea-urchin can eat them J

So that’s where I am, overweight but confident that I am an overcomer, that I am who God says I am!

I show love in food

Its bad enough that I find comfort in food, but I give love in food too!

It's a good thing in some ways, no one has to eat something they don't like or if they are a veggie-eater, I always make sure they are taken care of or if there is something that makes their belly hurt, I try to accomodate.

Today is ice cream cake for ANs b-day, and for FO... we are having vanilla ice cream cake because he's allergic to chocolate (his has caramel).

When I talk to people about WW, they talk about how its so hard. I really don't find that it's hard because eating foods that agree with us, that are good stuff in, means good stuff out, I've had more energy than I've had in a long time! I'm looking forward to a future of doing a lot of things I wouldn't normally do!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Holiday Week

Trying to figure out how I am going to weigh in this week. I might be able to weigh in on Saturday in Pontiac. I know that I'll have a good week if I put my mind and heart to it.

I've made my barley and spinach for the week's lunch. I will saute some mushrooms, onions, and garlic, add the barley and have the spinach with it. YUM! I stuffed my green peppers with it this week, and it was a hit in our house! I can't tell you how thankful I am to have the support of Phyllis in this because it's hard enough, I couldn't imagine if I had a child that turned her nose up at spinach, instead she choses it!!

Thursday is Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for having a good start on the Holidays, it will help me to stay motivated and not make poor choices or make the choice of eating too much of something. Our leader on Saturday read a quote that said... if you want a little behind, you've got to leave a little behind. Looking back at pictures today of just 6 years ago, and a little behind, I'm looking forward to a healthy lifestyle.

I might even bring spinach on Thursday so that it will help me stay on track (I REALLY! love spinach!)

So this week it was -2 for an overall weightloss of 12.2!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

New York

I have no idea if really anyone reads this blog... but it's really about me and my journey with my heart and my butt, hopefully my hearts gets bigger with love and my butt gets smaller. But hopefully my journey somehow inspires others to be real and to overcome their pain with the only One who can heal us, Christ.

Been thinking about my goals... why don't I have a reward when I hit goal? You'd think that I'd be excited to reward myself with whatever I want (non-food related). It’s not that easy, sometimes I just think I don’t even know what I like to do other than youth, eat, cook, or scrapbook. What a bore!

But I was listening to Billy Joel’s New York State of Mind and you know what I decided? I want to go to New York. I want to be able to shop and buy cute clothes, I want a snazzy coat to tool around in New York in with cute boots and cute jeans and sight see and just enjoy the sites with… Phyllis. How fun will that be? I’ve always wanted to go there, and I love experiencing things with Phyllis and so that’s my 70 lb goal!!

It might take a year or more, but a journey begins with a single step.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

staying calm

Today’s scripture in my journal…

Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Psalms 85:10

I’m struggling. Not with food, food is easy to control. I’ve got about a gallon’s worth of tears built up ready to go.

God is faithful.

He will not leave me. Even when I’d like to walk away.

I’m tired. Not of eating healthy, because I feel better.

God’s love and His faithfulness are holding me together.

I just pray that soon, His peace will kiss my forehead. You know that you really know that someone loves you when they kiss your forehead. His peace, that’s what I need.

Until then, my insides are ocean waves, crashing in the sea.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Its dumb to be afraid of a scale. But I know that I can do everything right and still not lose weight. I know that it's 'slow and steady' wins the race, HELLO! I love turtles, remember?

I know to eat things that if it grows in the ground or it has a mama (no processed foods), I know to eat small meals, get in my veggies, eat protein with each snack.

I also know that I'm not doing this by myself. I have supportive friends, but mostly I've chosen to lean on the Lord to conquer this! Last week was horrible, and I've said it - For the first time in my life I chose to God instead of food for comfort. It says in Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us, and I know THAT'S me! I'm an overcomer!! But I also know that on my own, I'm weak, I look to God for strength, it says in Isaiah 40:31 that we must hope in the Lord, that we won't grow weary and that He will keep us going (really, you can look it up yourself) and I'm tired. It also says in James 1 that when we face a trial, that we must keep going we must go to God, He will give us wisdom (you can look that one up too).

And then so tell me, why am I focusing on the past and all the times I didn't succeed. I don't want this to be another weightloss, I want this to be a VICTORY! I said when I started this that I wanted the world to look at me and know I'm different that I could overcome this battle with food, but not all by myself. How can you say you trust God for all things but in some things, you just decide to do it on your own (and fail!)?

I need to keep out of my own way, to continue to let God work in me, and yes focus on eating what's right, and getting healthy, but I need to remember that this battle did not start in my mouth, it started in my heart.

Romans 5:5. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I don't know if trouble is the word... but I know it's there.

Being lonely is a big trigger for eating. I often ate alone on the couch watching TV, which is part of the reason I stopped watching General Hospital. That and unrealistic expectations of relationships (seriously, don't cause yourself to stumble in anyway, it's just dumb).

I have a lot of people around me, however, I often feel lonely. I sometimes feel like I have friends and they are real friends, I just don't feel like they are real. They have pretty Christian smiles and they're trying so hard to be positive, they forget to be real. I'm not saying that positive is bad, I'm just saying I don't always believe in fake it till you make it.

Yesterday I went out to eat, made the right choices on the menu but the food wasn't good (note to you... Hula Bowl at Max and Erma's... yuck! I think it was the dressing because the salad part looked good!). Then I wanted to eat something that was. Thankfully I controlled myself because I always say that risk has consequences. And the risk of the french fries has a consequence of a lower (or none at all) weight loss number this week. NO THANK YOU!

My heart is kind of achy... not a good thing when you find comfort in food, but a really good opportunity to reach out to God. To find comfort in Him, which is where I need to go, and I know it.

I've done well so far... 10.2 lbs, jumped over some pretty big hurdles this week. But sometimes when you're standing at the bottom of the mountain and you're looking up and you're only 1/7 of the way there, it almost looks impossible. I know that I have to take one day at a time, one step at a time, but it certainly looks like a long journey! I know, yes, I know, it's worth the view!
Isaiah 52:7 How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"

Monday, November 16, 2009

It's Monday EVERYBODY!!

I made this mushroom barley stuffing yesterday! Very good! I could have made half the amount, but what was I thinking… it said serves 8, at one cup each, that makes 8 cups… duh!!

I am having it today for lunch, with sauted spinach, and 3 oz of grilled chicken breast! YUM!! I feel so good when I eat well, sleep better, more energy, and good pooping! Lol!

It’s a new week, keeping my eyes focused on God for whatever comes at me this week.

Got the menu kind of planned out this week, making stuffed peppers tonight for the crockpot, going to use barley in place of rice (it really is SO good and so good for you!!). Gonna add some black beans with my turkey meat and some portabella mushrooms, and use Rotel tomatoes & tomato sauce instead of tomato soup. Trying some new things, I am so thankful that Phyllis is open to eating whatever I put in front of her… just thought of something… what if I stuffed the green peppers with the leftover stuffing and just added a little ground turkey and black beans? Mmmmm…. No that’s what I’m talking about!

Sunday, November 15, 2009


You've got have goals. Rewards for a job well done. I didn't have a ten pound goal but I bought myself a shirt (it cost $10!!!) I had a twenty and a fifty pound goal established but I think I'll buy myself a new shirt at every ten pounds lost. And at each goal, I'm talking my picture! All rewards must be non-food related

10 lbs - a shirt
20 lbs - Highlights for my hair
30 lbs - new underwear!!
40 lbs - ?
50 lbs - I am Metro video
60 lbs - ?
70 lbs - ?

Gal 3:3 Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?

Saturday, November 14, 2009


2.4 will have great signifigance.

It was the poundage I lost today but more importantly it represents a week of not turning to food when I felt sad and mad, instead I turned to God in my despair for the first time in my life.

Might not seem like much to anyone but me, but it's huge in my life.

I've said, my issue isn't with food... it's in my mind.

-2.4/10.2 :)

Monday, November 9, 2009

It's all about choices!

Yesterday I had in my head that I could have whatever I want... and the funny thing, is that I keep making good choices.

I pulled into Wendy's was thinking 'whatever I want it's my cheat day' and... I drove right through and got Subway! I picked tuna because that's my favorite... I chose spinach instead of lettuce and apples instead of chips (sickening aren't I?) I bought a 12 inch but only ate 6 (I gave the other half to Katie and she loved it too!) because I was full! HOW 'BOUT THAT??????

I stayed totally within range, for the day I only went over by 5! And I totally had extra points so I was good.

I felt good because I wasn't weighed down by food that's not good for me, I felt good because I made choices without regret.

Our weight watcher's leader suggested that everyday we stay on track so that even if we don't have a big weight loss... I found some great mickey mouse stickers that I bought a long time ago! So I busted them out and I got 'way to gos' two days in a row!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Be encouraging, be encouraged

1 Thes 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing

So I’ve lost a ton of eight before, I mean equvilent to the a small backstreet boy… seriously. However, I haven’t kept it off. I’ve done Low-Carb, WW. This time, I’m doing it with the support of my girlfriends and really with the strength of Christ, I am getting HEALTHY not just losing weight, and my tool is Weight Watchers.

Yesterday I was discussing it with someone who decided that they were going to ring in on what I was doing and how it was all WRONG! Really? Ok, fatty…. Why don’t you give me advice on how to lose weight… oh that’s right, you haven’t. You’ve got all the book smarts… however, you’re hands on only refers to your hands on a fork. I mean, I know I sound like a jerk, but seriously, I don’t want to hear people and their discouraging words.

Our lives are filled with negativity. Whether we think we can or we think we can’t, we are probably right (Henry Ford) and so I truly believe that success is the only answer to the question.

I find it a little funny that yesterday’s scripture in my food journal was Proverbs 3:5!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.

I am trusting that when I get tired, He will give me strength, that He will guide me, and how blessed I am that God has surrounded me with very encouraging friends for this journey!

Proverbs 3:1-6 (NLT)
1 My child, never forget the things I have taught you.
Store my commands in your heart.
2 If you do this, you will live many years,
and your life will be satisfying.
3 Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!
Tie them around your neck as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart.
4 Then you will find favor with both God and people,
and you will earn a good reputation.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take

David Viscott: "You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be."

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

What are we doing???

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

I cannot believe how many people struggle with Halloween candy. I can believe it, but I don't want to. And let me tell you, I'm not perfect... but I'm learning what makes me succeed and what makes me fail. I do not want to put up my own roadblocks.

You know how I keep away from such cravings?

First, I say no. I could say I start and stop at one piece but I will tell you, once off the wagon, the sugar cravings just keep going and going like the energizer bunny.

Second, I buy candy I don't like. I get a limited amount of points and I intend not to waste them on things I don't like. And even if I bought my favorite... nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

When Phyllis was younger she got 10 pieces, the rest was donated to a soup kitchen. If it's out of the house, neither of us are tempted.

I'm learning that the better I eat, the better I feel and why would I want to change that?

Today's scripture: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 NLT

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Its not Impossible!

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

I was thinking about Thanksgiving already!! I am constantly thinking about what barriers will prevent me from achieving my goals… I was thinking about how hard it's going to be to eat and still lose weight. But really, its not impossible, remember, we can bring good choice food so that we can continue on the right path, a path of being healthy!!

I ate a 4 point pizza yesterday and it was SO good from Lona's pizza in Dearborn Heights, so good but I think my body was like "what's with all this cheese in one sitting". I have had a belly ache since I ate it. I think my body will tell me when I've made a bad choice, it's already used to eating good!!

I am going to do well, I am going to achieve my goals, and I will be a part of it, instead of passively letting things affect me and wondering what happened! Remember, we can choose what we bring to these meals (and what goes into them – don’t we want our families to be healthy too?) and we choose what goes on our plates! We can choose to go on a quick walk before or after dessert instead of sitting in front of the TV (and have good chatting while breathing in good air!) talk about the blessings of the past year with your family!

St. Francis said “Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

So I am going start by making good choices because that is what is necessary, and then I’ll be eating well, maybe a few ‘cheats’ and then I’ll be achieving the impossible. And I will be praying that God puts His hands over my mouth so I don’t make too many bad choices…

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Monday, November 2, 2009


Going out… again with the preparation!

I am going out to dinner tonight, probably to Max and Erma’s. I thought I was doing “OK” by choosing a salad at Chili’s only to find out it was about 18 points! Yikes. I get quite a bit of points, however, I can’t waste them. I allow myself a little leeway on the weekends, but really not that much, I am just starting, and I really want to make good choices and make them stick! If I start slacking early, I won’t have good long-term results.

This is so much about long term solutions to long term issues.

I went to the Max and Erma’s website, checked out Dotti’s weightloss zone and decided on one of two things, and I’ll decide when I get there, and I won’t even open the menu. It’s either the Hula Salad or Black Bean Burger with a baby greens side salad. That’s my choices.

I will be honest, I would love for 2.8 this week! That would make it ten pounds in two weeks, a very good start. But I don’t know if that’s all that realistic, but I’m hopeful and if it’s 1 pound, that’s good too!

Packed my lunch today, ate a good breakfast, snacks ready for chomping! First 32 oz water down! 128 to go!

STRIVE FOR YOUR BEST TODAY! And don’t stop striving!!


Today's scripture in my journal:

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (NIV)

Matthew 7:7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. (NLT)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

You've got to prepare

You don't just one day get a good job cuz you're lucky.

(usually) you get a good job because you've prepared. You go to college or you work hard.

Eating right and losing weight is no difference.

You want a good result, you prepare.

Pictured here is my snacks for the week.

Babybel cheese (1 pt each) one for morning snack one for afternoon

Celery cut up, washed and bagged for easy packing

Cherry tomatoes washed and bagged

God has great plans for you, be prepared for all He has in store for you!!!
“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,”- Ephesians 1:18

Saturday, October 31, 2009


I lost 7.2 pounds this week, and I hope i never find it EVER again!

The leader today told us that if you drink the daily amount of water (8 - 8oz glasses) you reduce your risk of Breast Cancer by 72%!!!!! Can you believe that?

My goal for water is 160 oz (I almost always exceed it!)... that does not include any other beverage I drink... and I drink 32oz of iced tea first thing in the morning! I can see my little fat cells riding out my pee screaming 'weeeee' as they leave and flushed down the toilet!

Read more about the benefits of drinking water...


and here

I think i should get exercise points for getting up and going to the bathroom...

I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man. ~Henry David Thoreau

Today's Scripture in my journal:

...fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right... Phil 4:8 (NLT)

This week!!


I gotta great post! but I'm going out with Phyllis!

Friday, October 30, 2009


I love eggs and it's a good thing...

I used to eat...

2 pieces rye toast (estimated 4 points)
butter (estimated 3 points)
scrambled eggs (5 points)

Total: 12 points (that's roughly 600 calories)


Two pieces rye toast (2 points)
1 egg (2)
2 egg white (1)
pat of butter (1)
low fat cheese (1)

Total: 7 points (350 calories)

Thursday, October 29, 2009


I have a new journal for all my food logging. The one they gave me at WW wasn’t big enough to log all the food I eat, HA! I do eat a lot of veggies and a lot of 1 or 2 point food snacks. Yes, I write down EVERYTHING!! And I have a label at the top that says water goal: 160 oz with 5 flowers (5 – 32oz glasses each day!)

This journal on the front says “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” Proverbs 4:18

It was something I found that I thought would work and every other page has a scripture, reminding me that I am not on this journey alone, because God is in the details, He loves us, and it reminds me that I am with a few friends on this journey to encourage each other.

The first one… Eph 2:10… I am God’s masterpiece. I am wonderfully made. He is with me.

The one I turned to last night… Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. NLT

The title of this blog is that it’s not about the food. It’s not. It’s about the struggle I’ve had, having people say to me “you’ll always be fat” the loathing, the stress-eating, the addiction to eating when I’ve said “I can’t stop” or that I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I remember that letter that was written to me that said “sometimes you stand in front of me and I don’t like the person I see” and that came from someone who is supposed to love me the most. And sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t like the person I am, because I know where I’ve been in my heart and what my body looked like before. God is exposing my innermost thoughts and desires and he has given me those desires, they are good, and I can’t wait to see how He fulfills them.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. ~Peter De VriesYou Said a Mouthful, Ronald D. Fuchs, ed.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


I love Qdoba... fresh ingredients, so yummy!

So now I plan everything I eat. Oui! How boring! I like the smakin' my lips together I think I feel like _____ for breakfast/lunch/dinner.

No wonder I'm fat.

So I decided that I had a coupon for Qdoba. SO GOOD and I'd use it. Until I did the nutritional info on it. They have an interactive guide so you can pick what you want to eat, how many calories, etc. OH MY WORD!!!

Can't eat it unless I know I'll be exercising!

It's really no wonder I'm fat. I thought I was doing well when I ate that, I knew it was a lot but it was filling and fresh... and I always ate it naked.

NAKED??? Just so you know... From their website:
First of all, you could go Naked. Our Naked Burritos® and Naked Taco Salads™ contain all of the delicious ingredients in our burritos and taco salads — just without the tortilla or tortilla bowl. By simply ordering a Naked meal, you've cut 330 calories and 54 grams of carbs.

So now Qdoba yet... or I'll eat it on a Saturday... AFTER I weigh in.

Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live FOREVER!! ~Unknown

1 egg + 2 egg whites
pat of butter
2 pieces of rye toast
1 slice low fat provolone cheese
celery with babybel cheese (snack)
half ham sandwich
2 oz ham
1 piece rye bread
1 slice low fat provolone cheese
mustard (oh mayo... how I love you!)
chic peas
homemade balsamic salad dressing
string cheese & tomato (snack)
Popcorn (snack if I want)
Dinner?? not sure yet probably a veggie with feta omelet because I have the points!

And... I'm not going to write out my food to you everyday, if you want to hold me accountable, I can show you my book :)

Oh... and I love Qdoba... Oh Qdoba... Mi Amor!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Yesterday I was hungry most of the day…

Too scared to use my points to early and then be hungry at night… what a mess!

Its hard because I don’t like oatmeal, I normally eat scrambled eggs and toast (with lots of butter) for breakfast. You gotta change the way you think, and you’ve got to cut calories and fat where you can. So this morning I had two pieces of whole wheat toast with 2 fried eggs in a small pat of butter.

I’ve got a turkey sandwich packed for lunch with a salad that consists of lettuce, grape tomatoes, beets, chic peas, cukes, and homemade balsamic vinegarette dressing. Celery sticks with a light babybel cheese, sting cheese.

I don’t want to be hungry today.

I don’t want my day to consist of thinking about how hard this is, it’s about GOOD choices. Its about a way of life, it’s about eating real food, not a bunch of processed crap. It’s about not letting my circumstances affect the way I think about things, about how being hurt does not justify going to the vending machine and eating cheezits.

I am a planner. I know that in planning it makes things easier. We plan our time, we plan a lot of things, and that includes what we eat.

Today’s dinner: Turkey Mignon’s (from Aldi’s) with brown rice with carrots/celery and broccoli

The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave

Monday, October 26, 2009

It's a journey

I've made so many bad choices in my eating that they have become habits.

today was my first day in my regular routine that I had to follow the new plan. It was hard. When you feel restricted, you're afraid you'll go over your points, and it stinks! I was hungry most of the day and I had a headache because I didn't drink my iced tea in the morning.

Hungry and a headache. What a horrible combination.

I have to continue to remind myself... eat to live not live to eat.

I hate that I weigh so much
I hate that I can't move around like I did
I hate the way my clothes fit
I hate the way I look

It's a journey. A journey begins with a single step.

Here I go...

Dieting is not a piece of cake ~ Author Unknown