I must do the work!

If I want something, I must be willing to do the work. I have to say that I haven’t written everything down that I’ve popped in my mouth, I haven’t gotten off the couch and done leg lifts, and sit ups, haven’t covered 2/3 my plate with veggies, haven’t drank my gallon of water everyday. And I can tell, in a lot of ways.


Not as much energy

My clothes don’t fit like I’d like

My size isn’t going down

The scale is telling me a truth that I just don’t like

Here’s the thing, I must be willing to do the work.

I must do the work of writing things down, I must do the work of cutting up veggies, and planning out meals, I must drink my water, I must take my vitamins, I must plan.

I must get up and run. I must get off the couch and do situps, and leg lifts, and arm exercises, a healthy, strong core is important!

However.

This is not just about food for me, its about feelings, and comfort. I must also be willing to hear what God has to say to me and to be obedient and follow His direction. It means I must be deliberate in the reading of the bible, to do my bible studies about the things that I struggle with.

I know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and so is the aisle way to the size of clothes that I don’t like to wear.

I can’t take a pill, a drink meal supplements, I can do those things short term to get started, and be successful, long term, I must be willing to do the work, I must have a plan, I must stick to the plan.

For me, it means I live by faith not by feelings, it means I trust God, I listen to His direction, I pray, I praise, I pray, I praise, I do things that are hard, I do things that hurt, in order to get where I need to get. I think about the ‘Skit Guys’ and their ‘God’s Masterpiece’ skit, you’ll have to look it up on Youtube. Its worth the time to watch it. I have to believe that God is working for my good, that He has my best interest. After all, He did get up on a cross and die for me, I should, and I will live for Him.

I think about how hard it was to finish a mile and 4 months later, I finished a half marathon. Because I was willing to do the work.

Matthew 10:39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Honesty

If I am going to be honest, I am so hurt. I am hurt because once again my dad has disappointed me, not just me, but this time it rolled right down to my daughter. I am amazed sometimes how I just keep going back for more.

it is no wonder I'm jacked up. I keep going back and being hurt.

And you know what I want to do? I want to eat something, I want to go to a fancy resturaunt and be treated like the princess I wish my dad would treat me like, heck, I'd settle for an hour of his time, but I guess in over two years, that might just be too much to ask for.

I have family that goes away for Phyllis's birthday and then they say "we'd really like to celebrate". Well, how about you don't go away the weekend of her birthday and chose a different one or how about you invite us? Oh, sorry, we don't care about you THAT much. And this is how I feel... "you've never been what we would have liked you to be, you're not what we'd like you to be, you suck, maybe we can fit you in, if not, sorry 'bout that".

That may not be how they feel but that's how I feel. Its often hard for me to keep all that in. It's hard not to word vomit, it's hard not to send nasty emails, it's hard. And it's hard not to find comfort in food. Ok, it's not. It's like a gushing wound, and the only thing that will, even if only temporarily, stop the bleeding is mashed potatoes.

So everyday this week (yes, I get that its only Tuesday) I have gotten on the treadmill in the morning, I have listened to sermons (teachings) on my way to work, I listen to them during the day, I am reading at night. Because in order to be healed, you need a Healer. if you go to a doctor for surgery, you go to a surgeon, well I need a healer, so I'm going to the greatest healer, Jesus, and so in order to be healed, I will fill myself up with good things, I will be nourished from His Word, His love.

This really isn't about food.

Matt 11:28-30 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Choices

Today I stopped at Panera for my lunch because I was going in late. I am always trying to find healthier ways to eat. I opted for the smoked turkey breast, no mayo, no onions (because they’d be really stinky by the time I ate them), on whole grain (instead of country). I picked up 2 pouches of the low-fat mayo because I really love mayo, they are 10 calories each with .5g fat instead of 90 calories (per Tbsp – but I know they don’t measure and I am SURE it’s more than a TBSP of mayo on there!) with 10g fat. That’s ZERO points compared to (maybe) 3!! And I love their chips, so because of this swap, I could have the regular chips!! That’s a treat – I love chips!

This week I changed up my sandwich and saved myself some time…

On Tuesday night I scrambled 3 eggs and 3 egg whites (7 total pts) with 1 ginormous package of fresh spinach - steamed (0 points) I divided that by 3 (so that’s 2.33 points per day – I round down to 2). Had it on an Arnold bread (1 pt), fresh sliced tomato, 1 slice of ham (1), ½ oz of gouda cheese (1).

It was very yummy!!

I’ve had salad every day this week, with lots of healthy yummy good stuff in it! I stepped on the scale, down 3 pounds, but I only count it if I hit that for Saturday’s weigh in. So we will see.

I feel like I am doing well, making good choices, since I started the sticker reward, the only 3 days I didn’t get the sticker was Friday and Saturday and Sunday of this weekend. I’ve been doing it for about a month, so that’s good.

I’ve been working through a bunch of stuff with God, to be reminded this morning in my food journal – Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you

Thank You Jesus for being with me during this journey, thank You for being my strength to start on the way to be a better me so I can be a better me for You!! Your grace overwhelms me!

Its not Impossible!

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

I was thinking about Thanksgiving already!! I am constantly thinking about what barriers will prevent me from achieving my goals… I was thinking about how hard it's going to be to eat and still lose weight. But really, its not impossible, remember, we can bring good choice food so that we can continue on the right path, a path of being healthy!!

I ate a 4 point pizza yesterday and it was SO good from Lona's pizza in Dearborn Heights, so good but I think my body was like "what's with all this cheese in one sitting". I have had a belly ache since I ate it. I think my body will tell me when I've made a bad choice, it's already used to eating good!!

I am going to do well, I am going to achieve my goals, and I will be a part of it, instead of passively letting things affect me and wondering what happened! Remember, we can choose what we bring to these meals (and what goes into them – don’t we want our families to be healthy too?) and we choose what goes on our plates! We can choose to go on a quick walk before or after dessert instead of sitting in front of the TV (and have good chatting while breathing in good air!) talk about the blessings of the past year with your family!

St. Francis said “Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

So I am going start by making good choices because that is what is necessary, and then I’ll be eating well, maybe a few ‘cheats’ and then I’ll be achieving the impossible. And I will be praying that God puts His hands over my mouth so I don’t make too many bad choices…

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."