not leaning on my addiction

Today has been a rough day, and it certainly didn’t help that my mp3 player is at home on my desk and not in my ears… but oh well, that’s the way it goes sometimes.

It was lunch time, off to Panera. Panera is fresh, but not always healthy. If I had my complete choice, I would eat creamy tomato soup with Asiago Roast beef sandwich. Imagine my surprise the day when I found out Creamy Tomato Soup is 9 points, and the ARB sandwich is 8 points (for ½). Holy Cats! But you see, I am learning not to find comfort in food… Hello, I’ve got a butt to prove that does NOT work, besides my disposition is still the same after eating all that comfort food! So instead I chose the Garden Veggie with Pesto, VERY good, 3 points, a much better choice with a Fuji Apple Salad (6). I did eat the chips because they are both 3 points and I’d rather have chippies. OH, and did I mention, I’d love to wash it all down with an 11 point cranberry muffin, but I passed on the cranberry muffin.

So all in all, lunch was 12 points instead of 20 (or 31 if you count the muffin! HA!)

It’s a daily struggle, and the moment that I use food as an addiction is a day that I feel I lean more on satan and less on God. I feel that if I lean towards the addiction, I am binding myself up. I am saying that I am not a victor, especially if it something that I willingly do. It’s one thing to eat something thinking I’m doing well (like the tomato soup counting at 5 points when it’s really 9) but when I say “I want the soup, because I feel I deserve it after the day I’ve had (meaning I am justifying my sin) then I’m saying God, you’re not big enough to get me threw this, I need to deal with the root cause of my issues, not just try to cover them up with a bandaid (or a muffin).

I’m getting there. First step is identifying there is an issue, and then finding out where the issue comes from…